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By Glenn Baja
Commitment. It’s a word I’ve pondered over a lot since my divorce. For 34 years I was married and in a committed relationship.
Or was I?
But that’s my story. A story to be shared at a later date.
The story today is about you…
Perhaps you’re beamingly proud as friends of mine are who just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
Or perhaps you’re sad. Sad for what might of been… what could of been.
If only…
Some will long for days past,
While others will wish they never occurred.
Others will see it as quality time spent,
Others will view it as valuable time lost.
Words
I love looking words up on thesaurus.com. Synonyms help add so much life and feeling. Here’s some of the synonyms for commitment:
ASSURANCE… OBLIGATION
GUARANTEE… NEED… PLEDGE
PROMISE… RESPONSIBILITY… DUTY
and the list goes on.
A friend of mine recently told me that she was struggling with commitment. Fiercely loyal and devoted, she’s experiencing doubt, a result of her spouses alcohol addiction.
Stay or leave? If the answer were that easy the problem would’ve been solved long ago.
The magic that was once there has diminished. The damage that’s been done cannot be forgotten. It’s happened too many times in the past.
Does one stay out of OBLIGATION? DUTY? PROMISE?
Do you still stand by with ASSURANCE and your GUARANTEE because of a PLEDGE you made long ago?
Is it your RESPONSIBILITY to meet the NEED of another?
Even when the costs are so high? Like your own life spirit?
Your vibrant, alive, and full of energy…
Yet the life is being sucked out of you.
Do you listen to the voices in your head?
Or pay attention to what your heart is saying?
Sacrifice?
Here are some other synonyms:
LIABILITY… MUST… VOW
OUGHT… UNDERTAKING
No wonder this word can be so conflicting… so difficult, bitter, and sweet.
Do you continue to love?
And endure sacrificing your happiness?
Do you choose to live a life “less than”… less than what your heart and soul has gifted and planned for you?
Do you let these last remaining valuable years, months, days, seconds slip by? All because of a COMMITMENT you made many years ago?
Isn’t this the same as choosing unhappiness? Choosing insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again?
Because of a LIABILITY?… a MUST?… a VOW?
An UNDERTAKING that you OUGHT to be doing?
Whose voices are these? Who made these rules up?
Do you go to Hell if you choose to Live… Love… and Risk finding Happiness once again?
Will you be punished by having a black mark against you in the karmic record of life?
Stories? Perhaps.
Real fears? It is for many.
I don’t know.
Isn’t life too short to live in misery or regret? Will you be able to deal with that grief, that heartache, later? Next year? At the end of a life you could’ve lived, but didn’t?
There are people as happy as can be. Others too are celebrating anniversaries, their 40th, 60th, and even 80th. And they thank the All Mighty everyday for the blessings bestowed upon them.
Are they happy? I don’t know. But they appear to be.
But we all know looks can be deceiving.
Fact is, it’s easy to become comfortable with whatever your circumstances are. It’s a law of physics that it’s harder to move something at rest than to bring something in motion to a standstill.
The days are slipping by. Every year seems to go by faster and faster. Time cannot be bought or bargained for.
It’s the here and now that’s important.
You have a choice. You always have a choice.
Choose wisely…
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I’m a self-professed madman, adventurer, photographer, certified High-Performance Coach, martial artist, and licensed physical trainer specializing in senior fitness. My passion is to continue growing and developing into my own unique, gifted, and joyful authenticity, while committing myself towards doing my own special part to help change the world. My mission is to help others find their own direction and purpose in life, by means of mentoring, teaching, and empowering.
I found my voice this morning and want to share. Thrive after 50 has been inspirational, meaningful, supportive and helpful to me as we all face crossroads and live life on a daily basis. Article after article has hit home for me. It may pull at my “heart strings” leading me to reflection. It may motivate me. It may enlighten me. It may evoke laughter and tears. For all these reasons, please keep communicating in your own special way, Glenn Baja. May your team continue to grow and bring us fresh insight!
Thanks Debra. It brings me great joy to know that I’m able to help others with their journeys in life. I give you my word that I will continue to deliver insight and value in anyway I can!
I realize that I’m not really sure what commitment means. After reading this blog, I am certainly much more informed and struck by the discord or bliss (or a combination thereof) that it can bring in people’s lives. And it reassured me that I must find out what commitment truly is. Perhaps it’s more strident than that. I must seek it out.