(Editors Note: This is part two on low self-worth and how this dis-ease inflicts billions of people on earth. This part discusses steps and measures we can take to battle the internal voices that live inside our head, convincing us that we are not enough. Part 1 can be accessed here).
What Can We Do?
So what can we do to start us on the path to healing ourselves? How can we combat these internal demons that seem to inhabit our mind, heart, and soul? How can we find the inner peace we are looking for?
The following suggestions are measures I’ve found that has helped. I don’t pretend to of conquered low self-worth issues because I haven’t. I still struggle with that internal voice frequently. What has helped though is how I address and deal with these ingrained messages that reside within.
1. Recognize and acknowledge that a problem exist.
The first step towards solving any problem is to acknowledge there is one. Denial of these issues will come back to haunt you over and over. Understanding how that voice came to live in your head, the reasons why, and showing empathy for yourself and others is the first step.
2. Forgive yourself and others.
As stated above, the messages you received have been handed down from generations before you. Believe in your heart that your parents and the generations before them did the best they could with the tools they had to work with. All of us do whatever it is that we need to do to survive. We learn these survival tools and methods first from our relatives. Forgive them, for they did not understand the implications of their actions.
Blaming others and living in resentment will not benefit you or anyone else. Blaming is nothing more than passing responsibility on to others. It will leave you stuck and feeling helpless. You are not helpless. When you blame others you give away your power and resolve. Stand strong and be patient. It’s taken decades to get to this place you’re presently in. Allow yourself time to work through your issues and tackle them one at a time starting with something small and measurable. A good first step to take is to look yourself in the mirror and ask forgiveness.
You too did the best you could do. We’ve all made mistakes we’ve regretted, but beating ourselves up for our past actions will not result in anything positive. Let go of the past. Today is another day. Forgive yourself.
Avoid being a martyr. You are not a doormat. A “poor me” attitude will only reinforce low self-worth feelings within. Accept the fact that it’s solely up to you to regain your self-worth. No one else can do it for you. To do this you must be present, focusing only on this moment where true change can occur. Make the next moment a step in the right direction to regain your power.
3. Know that you are worthy. Trust yourself.
Trust in your own beliefs and feelings. Make a habit of making your own decisions rather than what others want you to. This is your life: take charge of it. You are in control. When we let others make decisions for us we set ourselves up to blame these individuals if things don’t go well. Yes, letting others make decisions for you is simpler and easier, but what happens when that person(s) is no longer around? You’ll feel abandoned and resentful towards that person, and fear and indecisiveness will creep back into your life. Make decisions that benefit you, not others.
Have the emotional strength to get through life’s difficulties without falling apart. Focus your energies on what you need to do to make the best decisions for yourself and then follow through on them. You have all the answers you need within. Stop looking outside of yourself.
4. Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.
Take a good look at your life. Are you happy with where you’re at? What would you like to have that would make you feel better? If you’re not certain take time to look within and figure it out. What talents and gifts do you have? Make a list. Ask yourself: How have my life experiences made me stronger and wiser? How have I grown as a person? What have I learned?
What is it that brings joy and fulfills you? What do you want in your life? If time and money weren’t factors, what would you choose to do?
Stop focusing on your weaknesses. You’ve done that long enough. Remember: what you focus on you create. It’s time to start focusing on what’s great in your life, not what isn’t.
Break the habit of trying to please everyone all of the time. It’s impossible – particularly those with a high sense of self-worth who find such behavior cringe-worthy. When you stop pleasing everyone else your desires will rise to the surface. Only then you can start working on your own happiness and self-worth.
Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. Respect the feelings of others but don’t be beholden to them. Some people won’t like that you’re doing your own thing and that’s fine. If we all did the same thing the world would be pretty boring. Don’t you agree?
Do you first, and then you can get around to helping others out with their happiness.
5. Learn To Love Yourself
Learn to be your own best friend. Nourish and value yourself with positive thoughts and actions. Exercise on a regular basis. It gets the blood flowing and your body will respond with extra energy and strength. Feed yourself with wholesome unprocessed foods. Avoid sugary drinks. Just the process of taking care of your body will make you feel better. Start slow and build your stamina up over time. The idea is to create a positive habit that feeds your body and soul.
Feed the mind: indulge in literature that makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter if it’s a trash novel, autobiographies, or self-help books. The objective is to feel good about yourself, to nourish and raise your spirits.
Get outside and experience the earth around you. Feel the cool ground below your feet (go barefoot!), gaze in amazement at the stars above, smell the many wonderful fragrances, and feel the breeze that teases your hair and face. These are foundational to our ancestral roots. Silence yourself; listen to the sounds of nature. Let these experiences nourish you.
It’s impossible to love others fully when you don’t love yourself. Seek to be whole without depending upon others to fill voids in your life. Being co-dependent upon others for your self-worth sets you up for disappointment should that person leave. Living a life to please others while placing your needs down the list will drain your soul.
Take charge of your life. Find that inner strength that exist within. It’s our differences that makes the world so exciting and full of possibilities. Discover what makes you, you, and build upon it.
Let your heart guide you on this special journey called life. It will not deceive you. Listen to the feelings and your intuition within. Let them speak and express themselves.
You are a unique, valuable, and special human being who matters. You are part of this wonderful puzzle on earth put here, for a reason, at this exact moment in time.
You are a gift.
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